Hear Our Interview on the Local NPR Radio Broadcast

Tom Fudge was a welcoming host for our interview last week on the local NPR radio broadcast. After the interview he shared his insights about how topics in our book relate to his experience as a father.

Click the link to hear the interview.

http://www.kpbs.org/news/2015/apr/16/san-diego-psychologists-write-book-teaching-kids-s/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+kpbs%2Fmidday-edition+%28KPBS+Podcast%3A+Midday+Edition%29
















For more information about Teaching Kids to Think go to our website, www.teachingkidstothink.com

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Guest Blogger on Motherhood Later

We want to thank Robin Gorman Newman for inviting us to be guest bloggers on Motherhood Later. Check out the post below for "The Misunderstanding of Intelligence: 5 Ways Kids Get the Wrong Message." 

http://motherhoodlater.com/posts/guest-blog-post-the-misunderstand-of-intelligence-5-ways-kids-get-the-wrong-message-by-darlene-sweetland-and-ron-stolberg-authors-teaching-kids-to-think/


For more information about Teaching Kids to Think go to our website, www.teachingkidstothink.com
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The Dangers of Anonymous Social Networking Apps: Parents Need to Know What Their Kids are Seeing

Apps are constantly being developed that allow people to communicate their thoughts and feelings with others. This has resulted in cyberbullying that is far reaching. Parents and educators keep up to the best of their ability, but they are often shocked by the swift nature of Social media. Add to the problem the new fad of anonymous postings and it is a face-paced race to keep up.

Continued education about the newest technology is the key. Because we work with teenagers every day, we hear about many of the sites and apps that children and teens are using appropriately and inappropriately. There is a new one. Parents need to know that a new app, Burnbook, has gone viral recently. It was based on the Burn Book from the movie Mean Girls. With this app, students can post pictures and comments anonymously. In addition, you choose a “community” to follow. For example, students can monitor posts from their high school “community” or other schools in their area. Therefore, while it is an app that includes comments from anyone, anywhere, it is very easy for a person to monitor only comments about people in their "community." Recent events have lead to cyberbullying, inappropriate pictures, and threats using the Burnbook app.  

New sites are developed frequently and it is very difficult to know about them all, so we encourage parents to talk to each other and share what they know. Sharing articles like the one we provide here is a great start. It is a very well-written article that provides information about 15 commonly used sites, with the benefits, as well vulnerabilities and dangers of using these sites. This is a must-read article for parents and educators.

https://www.commonsensemedia.org/blog/15-apps-and-websites-kids-are-heading-to-after-facebook

 

For more information about Teaching Kids to Think go to our website, www.teachingkidstothink.com
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What? College Ready in First Grade?

http://www.nytimes.com/2015/02/08/education/edlife/is-your-first-grader-college-ready.html?_r=0

This article published recently in the New York Times addresses concerns that many parents have about when to begin to talk with their children about college. Every day parents talk to us about the pressure they feel in trying to prepare their children’s academic resume for college. This article presents the views of some educators that say children need to begin choosing colleges as early as first grade, they need to take the right classes in elementary school to have the top academic resume in high school, and building endurance is important for them to be competitive in the college market (forget moving from band to something new in eighth grade because “it shows”). It is no wonder parents feel this pressure and begin to panic. 

This article also presented a recent study that showed the rate of affluent students completing a bachelor’s degree has doubled since 1970. On the other hand, the rate of low-income students completing a bachelor’s degree has increased very little. While some educators praising the importance of the very early academic resume were from affluent private schools, some were not. They were from low-income areas and their goal was to show their students that college is important and attainable.  

We can tell you that as the years pass the pressure parents feel to push their children to achieve an impeccable academic resume continues to increase dramatically. They want to make sure their kids have all of the choices possible when launching into adulthood. However, there is a limit. We both have private practices full of teens who are feeling extremely anxious about not achieving every possible thing that “looks good on a college application.”  Many of them cancel or decline social invitations, feel exhausted all the time and dread getting any schoolwork handed back because it just reminds them their grades are not good enough. Other students feel like they are a continuous disappointment their parents because they are not achieving those high standards. We also see many students who obtained the academic resume for a highly competitive college, but did not make it past the first year. That was not the intention of their well-meaning parents. As psychologists we can tell you that most students are not Ivy League bound. It does not mean they aren’t “smart enough” to go there, it is just isn’t a fit to their talents and interests. There are many types of colleges and post-graduate programs out there. Children and teens of all ages can and should be exposed to all of those options and they should be presented as just that. Lots of options.

Here is an alternative view posted one week later by Kristin O’Keefe, an author who writes for Motherlode: Living the Family Dynamic, a New York Times blog.

 http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2015/02/11/the-community-collegereal-college-divide/

Parent Tip:

There are a lot of options for post-high school education and many paths to lead there.  While it is too early for elementary school children to choose what college they are going to, it is never too early to introduce your kids to the options, listen to others talk about colleges and careers, and even take a walk on some college campuses. Show them what the options are. Teach them to think by being conscientious about identifying a goal, researching a plan to meet that goal, and identifying ways to fulfill that plan. There is something for everyone. When the time comes students and parents need to step-back and choose the program that is the right fit for the student.

For more information about Teaching Kids to Think go to our website, www.teachingkidstothink.com
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Texts Are Never Private

Texting is such a way of life for kids and teens in this generation (adults too). It allows for rapid and easy communication. Unfortunately, this results in a lot being said without much thought about how it will be received. The impulsive nature of kids and teens paired with the distance a text provides can lead to them writing things they would never say face to face.   

One of the most important lessons for children and teens to learn is that text messages are never private. First, with many phones, when a text message comes in it is seen on the screen even if there is a lock screen. A phone can be left on a desk or table and if a message comes in, anyone can see it. Second, many parents check their kids’ texts. Because the kids are embarrassed about this, their friends often don’t know their messages are being read. Third, anything texted is in writing and can be shared. While friends tell each other they won’t show anyone, we can tell you as parents and therapists who interact with many teens every day, this is not the case. We have not spoken with a teen who has not had a text shared without their permission.

Parent Tip:

One way to help kids monitor what they write in texts is to tell them to write them as if their parents were reading them. This is an important guideline because texts are never private and there is a good chance that someone's parent will read them.  We often hear from kids that they want their privacy. We agree. They need to have private conversations with their friends. Anything they want to communicate that is private should be done voice to voice, either a phone call or in person.

For more information about Teaching Kids to Think go to our website, www.teachingkidstothink.com
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The Importance of Learning to Wait

One of the most important lessons to teach children and teens in the Instant Gratification Generation is to feel comfortable with waiting. This is even more important for children and teens of this generation. We have a generation directly impacted by the rapid development of technology. These kids have known nothing other than full access to the digital world. Answers to questions are provided within seconds thanks to Google, directions to a new restaurant are provided via GPS, any TV show missed can be found "on demand", and people are available to solve problems in an instant via cell phone. The result is that today's growing children and teens are learning to navigate the tumultuous world with the aid of all these modern conveniences - and therefore expect instant solutions to their problems.

Parent Tip:
When we were kids waiting was naturally built into every day activities. That is no longer the case. In fact, the opposite is true. Because the trend is to make things quicker and easier, parents need to really find opportunities to make their children wait for things. If you are engaged in something and your child makes a request, develop an automatic response to let him or her know what you are doing and how long he or she will have to wait. For example, say, "I'd love to help you with that. Let me finish what I am doing and I will be with you in a few minutes." The younger the child is, the shorter the waiting period. It is also great to share a reason for why your child is waiting: for example, "I need to make a phone call first," "When I finish this chapter," "When I put dinner in the oven," and so on. This helps children learn they are part of a family unit and their parents' activities are important too.

For more information about Teaching Kids to Think go to our website, www.teachingkidstothink.com
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Welcome to our blog!

Welcome to our blog! We are so excited to provide a forum to discuss topics that are so relevant to raising kids in the Instant Gratification Generation. This page will include parent tips, current events, and resources that directly relate to raising children in this generation.

As clinical psychologists, we have worked with families and educators for over twenty years. Recently, we have found ourselves marveling at the number of children and teens who become easily frustrated when asked to solve a simple social dilemma or deal with a problem on their own. In addition, parents, teachers, and coaches are all talking to us about their concerns about what they are seeing. They see children and teens who expect their problems to be solved right away. With the rapid changes in technology convenience is expected and there are fewer opportunities for children and teens to figure things out on their own. We hope that the information offered in this blog helps parents and educators navigate these unique challenges.